Alphabet Soup ~ The ABCs of Pakistani Dramas ~ VI

alphabetsoup2Pichley dinon hue awards ke baare mein kaafi kuch likha aur suna gaya …. like everybody else I too have my opinion on the rightness and wrongness of kis ko award mila, kis ke liye mila, kyon mila, aur nahin mila tau kyon nahin mila…. magar khair yeh tau koi khaas baat nahin, aisa tau hota hi aise ma’mlon mein…. after all agar controversy na ho tau phir maza kahan – correct and justified awards would be so boring, no?

Aur jahan boring ki baat ho tau you have to agree our routine award shows are so deadly boring… har saal wohi same ghissi pitti categories: Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Serial, Best X, Best Y, Best Zzzzzzzzzzz….

Kehne ka mqsad yeh ke imagination and innovation khatam hai bilkul. scratch-head03-idea-animated-animation-smiley-emoticon-000416-largeAward deney walo bhaiyo aur behno drama stories mein tau apne sochna bilkul hi band kar diya hai chalein yahan hi kuch alag soch lein

Ab is sarey qissey mein alphabet soup ka kiya connection, you might ask.

Dekhen seedhi si baat hai.  A=awards. Ban gaya na aik aTooT connection!alphabets-dancing-886553

Today I invite you to suggest ansuni categories and anokhe nominees for hamare aur aapke apneaala ‘aqalband awards – DRNR aishtyle!

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Sounds difficult? Mushkil lag raha hai?

Arrey nahin nahin bhai bilkul mushkil nahin. Allow me to illustrate with examples. How about if we had the following categories and their nominees?

In no particular order:

  • Ferrari Se Behter Sawaari (Award for the best ride in town)
    a) Mohini and her red car in Goya
    b) Amin sahab and his dhaka start gari in Sadqay Tumhare
    c) Bhatti sahab and his taxi in Jackson Heights

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  • Dosti Aisa Naata (Award for the no-lifer BFF)
    a) Dr. Maqsood as Khelu’s confidant in Sadqay Tumhare
    b) Taji as Yousuf’s best friend in Mera Naam Yousuf Hai
    c) Roomi as mera, tera, gali muhalley walon ka, hum sab ka behtreen dost in Firaaq
  •  Maa Tujhe Salaam (Award for the Amma of the year)
    a) Mujhe-thandi-pani-wala-freej-chahiye Khursheeda in Gar Maan Reh Jaye
    b) Mere-thaparon-mein-chhupa-hai-mera-pyar Rasheeda in Sadqay Tumhare
    c) Khamosh! Kuch-na-kaho-sirf-meri-suno Maa ji in Firaaq

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  • Meri Second Hand Jawani (Award for the most majboor shohar with no other choice but to marry twice)
    a) Hadi in Alvida
    b) Hasan in Doosri Biwi
    c) Hamza in Mehram
  •  Hum Sa Ho Tau Samney Aaye (Award for characters that have an impact even when “not” there)
    a) Khala Inayat’s first husband in Sadqay Tumhare
    b) Adnan in Goya 
    c) Wali in Diyar-e Dil
  • Na Aandhi Lagey Na Toofan Mitaye (Award for perfect hair/makeup no matter the situation)
    a) Fareeda despite her mushkilat bhari zindagi in Digest Writer
    b) Omar even after an extended hospital stay in Goya
    c) Nisa and her 24/7 krazy-glued curls and french-manicured nails in Gar Maan Reh Jaye
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  • Mix Chaat (Award for the serial with a bit of everything thrown in)
    a) Nazdikiyan
    b) Dil Nahin Manta
    c) Doosri Biwi
    d) Firaaq
    e)Mehram
    f) Sultanat-e Dil
    [Actually pretty much all current serials are strong contenders for this one!]a-for-effort-paper

Ji, tau yeh tau thay meray examples … as you can see there is no limit to kuch alag awards and no shortage of anokhe nominees …
I know you guys follow many more serials than I do so come on use your imaginations and put those grey cells to good use! Lets see how inventive and innovative you get and how many walk away with an A+ for effort!

Written by SZ~

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40 replies

  1. Aray wah!! maza agya subah subah!!!!
    My kinda post! lol
    Acha before i get started with my categories can i add a few nominees to your category too pls!!

    Ferrarri se behtar sawari :
    Dad’s classic car in Pehchan.. quite a character that was too!
    And Zawar had the pick of the lot! 🙂

    Dosti aisa naata :
    Apni mrs Khan was another one.. apart from spending time in the salon getting no-makeover makeovers or hanging out with the jawan sahelis gossiping, she didn’t really have much else to do either!

    Meri second hand jawani:
    How can we forget Adnan Siddiqui’s Zawar!!! Bechara majboori ka alambardar bhai jan! And jawani tou revive honi hi thi marrying somebody half her age!
    on a side note Speaking of Alvida : I can’t believe naveen’s character died in the first few eps!! They made such a hoohaa about her comeback, all for such a short-lived character??!! Aur Hadi bhai took no time to move on.. the rate he is going, I think he will get the third hand jawani pretty soon too! lol

    Like

  2. Ok my categories :
    Didi tera dewar deewana:
    Going by the theme of the year – Devar bhabhi, I think we ought to have the wierdest devar habi jori,
    1. Fizza & Azar in Muhabbat abb nahin hogi – Devar bhabhi & shukk .. isi liye bare boorhe kehte hain….
    2. Sohaib & Arjumand in DeD – Bhabhi jo bhabhi na bann saki.. uss se pehle hi biwi bann gai..
    3. Hamza & iqra in Mehram – The complete package : devar bhabhi + doosri shadi
    4. Sadqay tumhare – ok technically they were no devar bhabhis but the sheer complexities in the whole khandan qualifies a wild card entry here lol

    50 shades of grey: ahem ill let the title explain lol
    1. Mansoor in pehchan – to be able to handle both women like a smooth operator and then getting away as a majboor miskeen bechara shohar.. & lets not forget the dodgy dhaba to add to the extra shade of grey!
    2. Zawar in Ahista Ahista – Much like mansoor but the shower scene gets this nomination the ‘X’-factor lol
    3. Bashar momin – ok the less said here the better.. just watch the bedroom scene with piano, #torture… yuck!
    4. Sohaib in DeD- our latest edition!!… Aur kita kitn shades dikha sakte hain Sohaib sahab?? Well that depends on Agha Jan..
    5. Sadqay Tumhare : I dont know who to nominate from this serial.. they are all aik se barh ke aik!!!

    Afrin Afrin! Husne karkardagi ti tareef mumkin nahin!! – The ground breaking professionals in our dramaland
    1. Farida in Digest Writer – the award winning writer for writing the most masale dar scripts – literally!! complete with lehsan adrak, and masale ki khushboo and teil ke dhabbe
    2. Imroz in Firaq : one word – Aids! – bhala aisa dhamakedar self-diagnosis (based on google) koi aur doctor kar sakta hai!!!??!
    3. The entire medical staff involved in Goya : From Omer’s seriously dodgy nurses to his doctors taking bribes, out of this world diagnosis throughout to Mohini’s (hold your breath!!) mercy killing!!!!???!!!.. and by the looks of it, apart from hospitals in Karachi there is only one other lab left in the country – in Muree (that too burnt down now!) .. #tragedy .. professionalism at record low!
    4. The entire faculty at Uff yeh Muhabbat : Im lost for words..

    OMG!! I’m having so much fun here lol..

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  3. This is just absolutely hilarious – FA, SZ you have clearly sat through many a saga!

    Just a couple I could think of:

    Award for the character with the best alternative career. Nominees are:

    1. Jalebi Jamshed (Jackson Heights) – Immigration consultant – author of the best-seller: Amreeka mein naukri lagnay kay sau tareekein (foreword by Michelle of Jackson Diner fame).

    2. Zaib un Nissa (Goya) – Wellness Consultant – Just a whiff of her home-made perfume concoctions will be enough to melt even the most stone-hearted men. She boasts of an impressive client list (Re: Rahat Hashmi, Hashmi Group of Industries).

    3. Rasheeda (Sadqay Tumharay) – Child Psychologist – Also nominated for: Ammi of the year award (2015).

    The “I never saw that coming!” Award – given to the most unexpected storylines or twists. Nominees are:

    1. Goya – Rahat Hashmi using Omer’s fake injuries to make a deal with Mohini.
    2. Sadqay Tumharay – One of the leads dying (you know, with Khalil saab’s track record…)
    3. Dosri Biwi – Hasan’s dosri shaadi.

    “Dost dost na raha!” Award. Nominees are:

    1. Nomi and Zara (Goya).
    2. Humeira (Sadqay Tumharay).
    3. Fareesa (Alvida).

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    • @VZ ROFL @ alternative careers & JJ’s best seller with Michelle’s foreword .. that’s hillarious!!!
      can i add my nominee too pls:
      Editor of Good House Keeping : Sara bhabhi from Firaq.. Qualified from Zubaida apa school of totkas..Magazine’s latest article that went viral ‘how to keep your socks warm’ ..

      Like

  4. Nikah parhwa dalo ae maulvi : Subah, dopehr, sham – the hama waqt tayyyar, 24/7 matrimonial service
    1. Balgan ke maulvi sahab in Sadqay Tumharey : His house is also a great hideout! Additional services : he has access to Shano’s house when everyone else is off limits.. even when she is down with mumps.. Plus only he can hazam all of shano’s khandani kitchri with a single glass of water..
    2. The maulvi bff in Gar Maan Reh Jae : He is prepared to go that extra length.. kisi se bhi chahein nikah parhwa lein, hazir ho ya ghair haizir.. .Secret weapon : timely khansi.. Inn ka ghar bhi hazir hai, for hideout..
    3. The unknown maulvi in Firaq : What do you do if you are in Panama City and need an urgent Nikah at 2:am? .. Have no fear Roomi Bhai Jan is here! He knows the maulvi Sahab! Yes Imroz ka nikah bhi unhon ne hi parhwaya tha!
    3. Pyare afzal ke maulvi abba : Oh sorry he can’t attend the awards ceremony. He has officially announced his retirement after he found out his son has turned into the biggest gangster in Karachi! #HajiKeGharMein….

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  5. 👏👏👏👏👏 this award ceremony I would love to attend !
    Agree with all the categories and throughly enjoyed 😂😂😂

    I wish to add few more to add

    Satyanaas Sunday Award
    ( sunday tv viewing becomes torture)
    Nominees are
    Nikah
    Joroo ka ghulam
    Dramay baaziaan

    TV Tood award
    ( awards where you want to break your tV)
    Dramay baaziaan
    Jooro ka ghulam
    Perfume chowk

    Ghantaaa writer award
    ( where you question the mental age of the writer )
    I can’t think of specific names as most writers are qualifying for this award

    Like

    • @Sheema ROFL @ Satyanas Sunday Can we please please also add Zidd to this list!!
      Speaking of which, whats up with Hum for not putting Ded in a prime time slot on a weekend? I honesty thought the’d move it to Friday after ST ended, or on a Saturday (another dead day on Hum..)

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  6. Great post SZ!

    Here are some of my own!

    Most Bewaqoof Biwi Award
    1. Shanzay from Dil Nahin Manta (Even after Suhena has tried to poison her, she goes to her house and eats Kabab)
    2. Farah from Dusri Biwi (“Meree wajah say Hasan kee family disturb ho gayee” – like seriously?)
    3. Aisha from Nikah (My husband got married to someone else and the best thing I can think of doing is be his bedside nurse and be chummy with his wife)

    The More (Wives) the Merrier Award
    1. Aashiq Hussain (no comment!)
    2. Hasan (Dusri Biwi): “I love both of them…”
    3. Hamza (Mehram): Can’t leave one, can’t leave another. Agar koi kahay aik aankh nikal do tou kaunsi nikalwao gaye. Epic dialogue!
    4. Huzaifa (Dil Nahin Manta) – Setting new standards for a wedding with two women at the same time.

    Bhabi bani Biwi award
    1. Main Bushra
    2. Bhabi
    3. Mehram
    4. Tum Mere Hi Rehna (thank God they showed something sensible in the end)
    5. Muhabbat Subh Ka Sitara hai

    Like

    • Another one…

      Happily NEVER after award
      Hadi and Uroosa (Alvida)
      Omar and Mohini (Goyaa)
      Shanzay and Huzaifa (Dil Nahin Manta)
      Rumaisa and Nabeel (Muhabbat Subh Ka Sitara)

      Too much tragedy in drama serials nowadays… They even end on a tragic note.

      Like

      • @DB brilliant categories!!.. more the merrier, bewaqoof biwi, happily never after.. matrimonial disaster!!! lol

        Ok my additional nominees:

        Happily never after : how can we forget our shano and khelu in ST.. poora gaon, lahore, pindi and ghaibn taqat mill ke were rooting for their union.. And then at the end sub mil ke dharein maar mar ke roe.. from the the tange wala to khelus wife!!! lol..

        The more wives the merrier:
        Dr Hadi : One down, on to the second in no time, and third seems very likely! lol

        Bewaqoof Biwi :
        Sanam for zidd : Puts up a drama for talaq ka haqq, then signs next minute without looking at the papers, without the haqq. Now stuck in a marriage in the dream destination – in the US far far away from her family.. leaving hubbys house because he was married before, to move on to live with and protect the first wife, who happens to be the another big mess.. I think even she can’t make the head or tails out of what on earth she is doing!!! lol

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  7. LOL omg I haven’t laughed this much in ages!!
    It’s another thing of I can think of anything, I stink at this stuff lol but will try my best!

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  8. Ok here goes: I only can think of one award
    The hum kabhi Yeh dialogue nahin bhool Saktay award
    a)-“Amee ji mat marein” from ST who got so many thappars becharee probably died from child abuse not pining after Khelu
    add that to mummy aap kya kehraheen hai and Mahira could get the lifetime achievement award the for most memorable phrases!!
    b)-“Haain, haan, jee” Bhatti Saab and his adorable English in the streets of NY no matter what the situation whether happy or sad we definitely got a haan and a hainn!!
    c)-” taska lagay aur jhappi maro” ST the awesome new phrase we kept hearing for 3 episodes and demonstrated by Khelu and Humaira the new innovative medical procedure to stop choking . Don’t be surprised to see in this years medical research journals😜

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    • SK, loved your award for Mahira’s dialogues – uff, the number of times she said that in ST!

      Of course, Bhatti saab’s Hein, Haan was unforgettable too!

      Now, if only someone could think of awards for best interior design and most blinding costumes – I am sure Sulatanat-e-dil will make a clean sweep of those categories!

      Thanks for the laughs everyone!

      Like

    • @SK too good! bhatti sahab was class act.. and thaska ghappi lol
      RE Mahira : Mahira also wins the award for longest dialogue ever is ST!!!..even the maulvi sahab needed a glass of pani to take it all in!! (lifetime achievement award confirmed!!.. abb tou koi maddemuquabil hi nahin)

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  9. Too good SZ this is far most best ABC.. Like SK i too couldn’t stop laughing on your mentioned categories and the ones shared by these brilliant ppl.. LOL.. Loving it

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  10. Who let the cat out??!! – For the best/worst kept secret
    1. Shano & Khelu love affair in ST : pindi, lahre, poora gaon, the tange wala, the lafanter dost, the cricket team, the maulvi, the court kacheri, kia judge kia khandan…. everyone between the arsh, the farsh knew!!!
    2. Who is Khelu’s real dad? in ST: the whole world, bar Khelu knew this one!
    3. Iqra – Biwi, not Bhabhi in Mehram : It was such a big secret that even Hamza and Iqra ‘khud se yeh chupa ke rakhte hain”.. wah!.. but seemed like the only person who didnt know was the doosri biwi!
    4. Pyare Afzal’s love letters : Read out in public by Afazal to his lafanter friends.. but ssshhh!! noone was to know who wrote them.. Khoda pahar nikla chooaha! The big secret was that Afzal didn’t want to let every know that in reality what a loser he was because he wrote them ”BA-QALAM-KHUD”’ to himself!

    Like

  11. Pehla Takra : The most memorable pehli mulaqat
    1. Shano & Khelu in ST : remind me again, how many eps did that saga take?.. the dhaga/dream sequence, the mujhe bhook lagi hai sequence and the adhi raat ki makai ki roti pakana, the band baja & barat….
    2. Mohini & Omer’s interview in Goya : & the horrible painting..
    3. The train journey in Mera Naam Yousuf hai – It could have gone down the aap pair zameen par matt rakhye ga , meile ho jaein ge route, until we heard ”Zulikha”!! The first time in dramaland someone fell in love with the name in first sight!
    4. Sohaib & Lila’s drive to Gilgit: The most mukhtasir muhabbat in the history of dramaland.. The one I’d rather forget actually!
    5. Bhatti Sahab and Sikender : The mugging!.. wild card!

    Like

      • Uffff Goyaaaaaaa!!!!!!! (sohaib style.. dil ke armaan beh gae..) goya ke goya ki tou baat hi na karo…. What a disaster.. This ep was only an exercise to cash up with the final round of tears! nothing else! .. shuru mein hansaya tou we, the viewers, had to pay for that through that last installment… OKB was fab but even that couldnt rescue Goya..

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        • Goya made me think of this Award Category.. Though i can only think two nominees..

          Logon ka dimag ghumao aur serial me hie Sequel banao

          Firaq – after good 6-7 episodes we saw something entirely different.. Matlab soch he humari.. Till what extent the play was ruined..imroz ‘s first wife, first wife ka second husband, unka beta.. I can go n go n go on this one

          Goya: Duss baat humari buss.. Uske baad Jo saamne aaya LOL.. We could see that ending in last episode

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        • FA – exactly – shuru mein hook us, then dish out this – it has happened with Pyaray Afzal as well…OKB did a good job, but that was about it…what a pity, because this was one story that started off so freshly presented…ratings ratings ratings 😦

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  12. Shayad ke hamari samajh mein aa jai teri baat.. : For dramas that made least sense of all..
    Zidd : the entire plot.. Rukhi’s dad, Sanam parents, and most of all Sanam herself.. nothing makes any sense! I see BG’s brilliance here and there, and it makes me go Eureka!.. maybe i will get the point.. but the next minute it’s walk in the dark again.. don’t get what on earth is going in this serial!..
    Goya : Firstly, can anyone pls explain to me why its called goya? I really dont get it.. I fail to understand this maniac of a dad Sr. hasmi is, how he has his agents absolutely everywhere… the past connection.. How can a father go to such lengths to get whatever the hell he was trying to achieve..how a strong mohini turned into a rotoo mazloom heroine just like that…what was the whole point behind omers doosri shadi…….
    Laa : Abb tou I cant even remember what didnt make sense at the time…. All i remember now is Danyals non stop running, the animated character that made no sense, the rona dhona, loud getting louder & baba ji ke robin neel ke dhule ujle kapre.. shayad unki chamak se hi aqal chundhya gai thi.??!!..

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  13. @All: Ladies you are all fab!! I havent laughed so much in ages! thanks! 👏 All of you get A++++ for effort 🏆

    Ok so here are some other categories that I had initially put in the post but then removed because didnt feel they had the required dum ..

    —-Cry Me A River/Leaks Worse Than A Public Nalka ( Characters who cry as if there is no tomorrow)
    a) Suhaib in DeD
    b) Bushra in Main Bushra
    c) Any and all first and second wives in all such idiotic dramas

    —–Neem Hakim (Characters who come up with the weirdest diagnoses)
    a) Imroze and his AIDS diagnosis in Firaaq
    b) Mohini and her cancer diagnosis in Goya

    —–Buy One Get One Free (Serials that gave you two stories for the price of one)
    a) Firaaq
    b) Shukk
    c) Goya

    —-Mera Ghar Meri Jannat (weirdest/memorable houses and their interior decors)
    a) Bashar’s house in Bashar Momin
    b) Sami Khan’s house in Sultanat-e Dil
    c) Omar’s House in Goya

    —Wah Kiya Scene Hai (memorable because they were either so good or so bad )
    a) Salma and Bhatti’s threading scene in Jackson Heights (two thumbs up)
    b) Mohini and the nurse when Omar was in the hospital — aap ke kitne bacche hain — Goya (two thumbs down)
    c) Khelu ne khana nahin khaya – forget abt the shaadi only worry abt hero sb ki bhook — Sadqay Tunhare (two thumbs down)
    d) the sunlight falling on Sikander’s face when he is the park with Salma and he apologizes – Jackson Heights (two thumbs up)

    Like

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