Pehchan ~ Episode 8 Review

pehchan

In a social set up where people insist on sparkling clean cages for their pets, expect their kababs to be shaped just so, a mere suggestion that an old sweater be repaired by an inexperienced hand is frowned upon, and puraney bahar se aaney waley bartans handled with extreme care, why does a young girl’s abject misery not register on those around p12her? Why does a messy cage garner more attention than this bride’s messed up life? Why is a kabab’s rounded perfection more important than her less than perfect marital relationship? Was this the acchi zindagi her mother had promised her? Why is it that despite having landed the perfect rishta – bara ghar, ameer loag, suljha hua handsome shohar – Laila feels more a prisoner than the caged ducks in Mansoor’s house? Her every move questioned, her inefficiencies highlighted on a 24/7 basis, and Mansoor’s slights and oblique insults becoming the order of the day is it any wonder then that Laila is gradually withdrawing into herself? Her shawls, worn not just for for warmth, but also as a metaphorical shield, protecting her from the cruel insensitive barbs of those around her, each of which hits her like a body blow. Lonely and abandoned. Barely a few months into her marriage and these are the two adjectives that best describe Laila’s state of mind and her situation.

p6Seemingly the world is Laila’s oyster. An only beti and an only bahu, she is pampered no end. Her saas does not interfere in her bahu’s life, and her parents dote on her. But is this the whole picture? No, this is the view from Laila’s mother’s and saas‘ perspective. Look through Laila’s eyes and there emerges a whole other reality, one where the saas does not miss a single opportunity to let her zingers fly. While a saas‘ attitude is somewhat understandable, it is her mom’s attitude that has shaken Laila to the core. Any attempt at trying to open up to her mom are shot down.  There is ignorance and there is willful ignorance, and Laila’s mother is a firm believer in the latter. Sab theek ho jayega … is herp4 mantra in life. Who knows, things might get theek eventually, but who is to say how long will Laila’s suffering last – a month, a year, a decade, a lifetime? Is Laila’s life only about being acknowledged as beti no. 1 and bahu hamari sab se pyari? For how long are these dubious distinctions gonna be the be-all and end-all of a woman’s life? What about her own dreams and aspirations? Bee Gul’s questions are very difficult and complex, not the kind that Laila can ask for of her saas or mummy or hubby dearest. Laila needs a friend. Not the giggly girls she befriended in college but someone more mature, someone who looks like she has it all sorted out … a mazboot aurat, a potential role model for the young Laila – enter Kuku.

p10From Laila’s perspective Kuku has it all. She is financially independent, free of the worry of the duniya walas, at liberty to come and go as she pleases, and last but certainly not the least, a caring, openly affectionate husband. Kuk’s life is as perfect as could be. So awed is Laila that even as she is desperate to reach out, voice her fears and share her worries, she cannot look Kuku in the eye.  Clearing her throat, her eyes downcast and hands fidgeting, Laila’s tense body language belies her qualified praise for Mansoor. What Laila cannot see is the pain barely hidden behind Kuku’s mazboot persona. From Kuku’s perspective Laila is the one who has it all. A husband who leads rather than waiting to be led by hand, a name/a pehchan in the society, and the cruelest blow of it all – a baby. What more could a woman want?

Respect. Kuku gets her answer sooner than expected, when the two couples face each other at the dinner. p23If Kuku had been wavering even slightly in her decision to keep Mansoor at arms length, his slighting of Laila has firmed up her resolve. How  could she be envious of a girl who is treated so shabbily by her husband? More importantly, what this does this say of the man who treats his wife’s worse then he would an annoying insect? While Kuku might think she has succeeded in fending off her ex-boyfriend, she does not realize that her rejection of his advances has only whetted his appetite. The battle has begun. And this time its not just between Kuku and Mansoor, but has enveloped Laila and Khurram as well. Who all are left standing at the end is something only time can tell.

Time will also tell if Kuku can hold on to her resolve to ignore Mansoor.  She is trying her best, but when has the jazbati dil ever listened to the p3thanda dimagh. As she lets slip in her conversation with Mrs. Khan, Kuku is far from over Mansoor. The dip by the curve of his lip still haunts her. While Kuku is honestly trying to get over Mansoor, he on the other hand is nowhere near done with her. For him this chase is as thrilling as it is frustrating. Unfortunately though, even as Kuku is doing this for Laila, Laila is the one who is hurting, deal as she has to with Mansoor’s mood swings.  News of her pregnancy is not welcomed with joy  neither is it celebrated with gifts. On the contrary, her outstretched hand is shunned by her husband. Nope, Miyan Mansoor is not about to offer Laila any support in this matter. Along with him, his mother too is less than thrilled. Laila’s parents on the other hand are absolutely delighted.

While Laila will have to figure out where and how this baby will fit into her already complicated life, p13Kuku has to deal with her overgrown baby baby-ing baby – Khurram. What is interesting here is that even as he plays court jester and pretends otherwise, he is more than aware of  what is going on around him. He is insecure and says so, but what he does not want to recognize is that Kuku is equally insecure. Or even if he sees it, he does not want to acknowledge it openly. And this is where we see his sharp mind working. As long as he feigns ignorance Kuku is not going to lean on him for support. But if he opens up to her, then he would be op24bliged to offer emotional and financial support. It is therefore to his advantage to feign ignorance and keep up with public displays of affection and saccharine sweet mannerisms. At home it is a completely different story. A broken Kuku cannot manage without tranquilizers, but even those cannot keep her nightmares a bay. Khurram’s pseudo-solicitousness make matters even worse.  In her intricately woven story, all of Bee Gul’s characters find themselves entangled in the webs of their social relationships, some which they were born into and others they have spun in and around themselves. How many will succeed in disentangling themselves is a something that time will tell.

Attention to details, even the most minute ones – Laila’s dad’s ties, the old-fashioned wide kind, perfectly in keeping 1513190_10152918116943662_5569116923681833343_nwith his age – are what set Pehchan head and shoulders above the rest of the serials out there. I sincerely hope Noorul Huda Shah is planning an A-Plus awards ceremony next year. It would be a travesty if Team Pehchan and their efforts in presenting meaningful entertainment went unrecognized. Such an acknowledgement, from the channel itself, will go a long way towards improving the quality of serials on air these days. Just the aesthetics alone are something that others could learn a thing or two from.

On aesthetics, Naveed Malik has done a fantastic job with cinematography. Khalid Ahmad does more than enough justice to Bee Gul’s brilliant script. One thing I must comment upon is the beautifully set up dinner scene – simply fab!  p5All actors deserve a huge round of applause for giving this one their best. This has to be Sohail and Iffat’s best performance to date. Mansoor and Kuku are two characters I will not forget in a hurry. Iffat imbues Kuku with a humanity that makes it difficult to describe her merely as the “other woman.”  Alishba too is not to be left behind. Her Laila is vulnerable, hurting and confused, but she is no bechari, kudos to her for keeping Laila fragile but not weak. And how stunning did Alishba look in the dinner scene – her jewelry was to die for! Fawad Khan is great, appropriately annoying as Khurram. Sumbul Shahid, Qazi Wajid and Parveen Malik, all are perfectly cast. And, finally Anita Camphor as Mrs. Khan,only one question: When can we hang out for coffee, donuts and hot gossip?

Every episode adds one more layer of meaning to this beautifully evolving story. Bee Gul’s story Pehchan sheds light on so much that we as a society like to brush under the carpet. Out of sight out of mind – tp16his is the mantra we live and die by. It is to Pehchan’s credit that we are being compelled to confront the lies, hypocrisies and double standards we knowingly and unknowingly preserve and perpetuate, passing the baton from one generation to other. Living in a society where popular memory extends back to hundreds of years, we tend to forget we are in a world very different from the one where our parents lived. Technical innovations have transformed the world into a global village. We know so much more than we did before and have seen so much more than our elders did. Faced with so much change why are we then still clinging on to archaic traditions and outdated societal dictates?  How many more Lailas will have to suffer before we step out of our comfort zone and affect change?

Written by SZ~

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37 replies

  1. Wow! a beautifully penned review! @SZ you def have an eye for detail! loved how you decoded all the hiddden meanings,.. the cage, the shawl, and let me say, loved all the screenshots!

    yes totally fell in love with lailas necklace! im not a great fan of full sleeves on sari, but laila looked stunning! how could the moron of a hubby not see that!!!??!! sunday was to the tea set in SF, comes thursday & we get a whole spread! what a feast! the ambience, the sulagti fire, the margallas in the bg.. loved it! yes u can call me crazy, but im actually waiting for the hd version to upload so i could watch this again..last week we had the takra and this week we have the full on couple takkar!.. utni hi khamoshi se.. What an ugly battle in such beautiful surroundings! … waise i thought ‘powder rooms’ r the big thing back home.. how comes laila took Kuku to her en-suite?…itne bare ghar mein no powder room.. tsk tsk! lol
    talking about food, i think khurrams deal is not gonna be in real estate.. he has applied for master chef!!! i was quite impressed with his culinary skills and those taste buds! chalo kahin tou koi sensitivity ai!

    laila went to kuku yet again for a change of colour..!!??!! itni pareshan hai ke she didnt realized she got conned last time ya phir like @SZ said shes in dire need of a friend.
    Kuku : jaisi bhi hairdresser hai, she has all my sympathies.. aise khabees mardon ke dariyan phans gai! one who is as makkar as can be and other the ghunna kahin ka! … ok pardon my lingo.. but honestly donon aik se barh ke aik!
    What was interesting to see this week was, sub ki neendein haram hain!.. the opressed or the oppressor, no one can find peace.. Khurram mian bhi chain ki neend nahin so pa rahe.. abb i dont believe he goes to the dhaba for the karak coffee.. its def the charas that the dhaba wala was singing about last week, that takes him there.. this guy is on some serious drugs! warna who would treat the baby news like that.. payal tou door ki baat, haath bhi nahin diya!!.. and then hath chura ke he turned away!!!! grrrrrr!
    now what i dont get is that what is his amma’s problem? why doesnt she want grandchildren? i would have thought knowing her son, she would be happy ke shayad sudhar jae!

    Laila’s mum: this ep we saw plenty of charind parind.. some in cages some shooing others into cages.. yes lailas mum is as blind as a bat! or an ostrich, .. honestly, after having gone through everything herself, i’d have thought some DeS will shine through lol but yahan tou yeh DeS ki saas ziada lagti hain lol
    but it was interesting to see laila’s burning jawabs every now and then, finally!!!! ..loved the mali and mithai bhejne wala taana….but i was wondering nobody else has sympathised with her, then why is she only taking it out on her mum?.. perhaps she only blames her mum for her halaat..? or if its because bass hi wahin chalata hai?
    A huge round of applause for the dad though: Finally we hear yeh laila ka ghar hai! afsos too little too late….we hear the etraz on her ghar aana jana straight afterwards.. Now dad, he is obviously worried about her. up till now i wasnt convinced he could do much, but finally we hear him speak up! I just hope he can stand his ground when laila needs it.
    ok its not just lailas mum, mrs khan also needs help.. falling for the chinese take away wala!!!??!!.. lol..fed up of the takla hubby? at her age? i guess its never too late lol… i do wonder if she was actually talking abt mansoor, teasing Kuku..was that ignorance or wilful ignorance? we also saw some of this at the dinner..khurrams persona, mansoors games, kukus khamoshi…and how lailas comment on hubbys ego and girlfriend that hit home but she didnt even get to know about it…

    i know its a million miles away that khurram lands the deal of his dreams, but i would actually like to see that happen just to see where that would lead these characters.. i mean i do wonder, if laila’s baby can’t change things between laila and mansoor, will khurrams deal change things between kuku and khurram?…
    loved how they finished the ep.. its over! abb dekhte hain if its really over…

    @SZ thanks for bringing the global village.. just look at us in this forum.. connected, trying the pehchan-ing all the characters, but the same time questioning ourselves and our way of thinking – pehchan-ing ourselves! I know if it wasnt for ur reviews and this forum, i for one, pbbly, would never have taken it this seriously, infact pbbly, never would have picked up on so many things on my own that we have been discussing. So thanks to team pehchan and thanks to you @SZ and everyone else who is shaping up this remarkable journey!

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    • @FA: Thank you and a thank you to @Deeba as well .. warna mujhe lag raha tha ke I was the only watching this one! Glad you guys are still onboard 🙂

      Thanks! Wasnt sure if anybody would have the himmat to plod thru .. Waisey I do tel myself ke I will write less the next time, but here is so much here ke kya likho aur kiya choro .. totally loving it!

      Re:the shawl .. I dont know what Bee Gul would say about this but it just reminded me of pictures i have seen of abuse victims or rape victims who very consciously try to hide their bodies from others .. there is an aspect of shame involved her and also a sense of wanting to hide away from the world .. and I see so much of that happening with Laila as well… waisey did you see how the mom kept toko-ing her abt heavy drawers etc. but yeh nahi bola ke shawl utha lo. beta trip ho jaogi .. for a moment there I thought ke Laila giri ke giri .. but I guess agar girti tau how would the story progress!

      LOL! @ Khurram’s sensitivity laying in his taste buds .. too good!!! Haan Master Chef ke liye he would be a great candidate.. maybe Kuku should help him set up a restaurant, as you said business tau kuch banna nahin hau uska..

      Re: the reason why Mansoor;’s mom doesnt want grandkids, I too was wondering abt it .. and couldnt really figure it out except to hazard a guess ke maybe she is looking out for Laila in her own way (remember the charon qul),, and thinks that jaldi bacchey would mean ke Laila wil not be as attentive to her hubby, thus creatin an opportunity for him to look here and there .. a late child, according to Mansoor’s mom, would mean that the two have spent a greater amount of time together and developed a bond strong enough that Mansoor would have to think twice before cheating on his wife… again just a theory but I feel that Mansoor’s mom is basically not out to hurt Laila .. shes just callous in the way saas-es generally tend to be..

      Loved the way you phrased this: “this ep we saw plenty of charind parind.. some in cages some shooing others into cages.. ” so true! and indeed aunty ji is an ostrich… bats at least have an excuse..ostrich ko kya majboori hai?

      Re: Laila and her sarcy comments towards her mom .. yaar, as you said aur kaheen bas chalta hi nahin.. shes sent a few zingers and quizzical eyebrow lifts Mansoor’s way as well, magar woh bhai sahab to apne mein hi mast hain :/

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      • @SZ re the shawl / rape victims: I never thought of that but now that u mention u r right! she is covering up quite a bit.. btw even her saris are full sleeved lol … re giri ke giri: rahi sahi kasar raste mein cushions..
        Re mansoor’s mum: yes i dont think shes out there to hurt Laila either. and ur theory makes perfect sense. she’s pbbly protecting laila in her own way..
        re zingers and looks : haan i forgot abt those! i guess that also shows her comfort zone.. she might be close to her dad but when it comes to opening up and voicing her concerns, she goes to her mum first.. Abb woh aur baat hai ke she doesnt get the response she was hoping for..
        Speaking of which, why would she prefer to share her problems with her mum? perhaps laila knows her mum was after all the susral gossip, and hence would be more inclined to listen to her, or perhaps because shes more practical, so unlike her dad she would have some reasonable explaination or solution…. or simply because shes the mum? i dunno abt the rest of u, but i was my fathers daughter, but after i got married, i’d always go to my mum…

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        • @SZ @FA: brilliant point of covering with shawl and not losing a single bit.. And you guys are talking on some really good points..
          I think laila knows her dad so well k he is only baaton k shair.. Still she loves her daddy.. About going to mum first ur right @FA that since she is mother and have experience in these matters.. Laila is expecting some good hope from her but *sigh*…. Yes even i go to mom first lol.. Sab baatein to ami.. But laad abaa se uthwane he 😉

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    • @Fa: Forgot abt Mrs Khan .. haan I too think she was gently probing Kuku, and offering her safe place place to vent .. if it was really about the Chinese delivery person, why would she be talking abt parceled leftovers and him taking the liberty of ordering the food for her .. and then by laughing it off as a joke she gives Kuku an easy out .. even those few secs of having the liberty to talk abt Mansoor must have felt very cathartic for Kuku… warna aur tau koi hai nahin jis se Kuku apnedil ki baat keh sakey … Given this scenario then it would seem that chalo Laila is better off here, at least she can go seek refuge in her parents’ home, have her dad pamper her and now have a frnd in Kuku.. in comparison Kuku has nobody and that’s why even a gentle nudge was even to get her to talk abt Mansoor .. warna i dont think Kuku is the kibd of person who would go around talking abt her lover’s lip dip.

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      • @SZ u sure its not the chinese guy who is passing on the Louboutin heels and McQueen’s skull clutches??..lol.. warna kukus salon cant be churning out that much! lol
        yes mrs khan has a way of getting kuku to open up!

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        • @FA: Hahaha! Nah!!! Becharey Chinese delivery guy main itni sakat kahan … after the clutch yesterday I am convinced ke before Mansoor and after Khurram, Kuku was “friends” with a gangster bhai jan ..and hes the one who set her up with the salon (as a front for his money laundering business) and hes the one who gifted her the Louboutins and True Religion jeans and the money to float Khurram’s failed business ventures.. Alternatively, if we wanted to keep Kuku’s integrity intact, then I think Mr Khan is the don bhai using the salon as a front and he is also financing her lifestyle, as a thankyou for allowing him to use her name for his purposes … and thats why Mrs Khan keeps showing up almost every day for her haircuts ..

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          • @SZ hahahaha ROFL @ gangster bhai jan aka Mr khan & using the salon as his money laundering business… uff im in stitches!! Chalo atleast we have pehchan-ed Mr khan now! 😉

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            • @FA: Haan! One down and so many more to go *thapki on the back for us* @Bee Gul would be so proud of us nahin? Kaise samajh leen sab unkahi batein .. either that or she’s banging her head against the wall ke uff kya stupid loag hain yeh .. mere itne ache dramey ko Syed Noor ki filum bana diya! hahaha!

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            • Hahahaha tauba u so funny… Kahan bechari kuku ghum k mare mari jarahi he and u both are setting her taaka to gangster bhai ROFL… Bechare mr.khan 😉 un-seen mr khan ko tum logo ne pehchaan lya .. Hope aage bhi aise hie maar’ke sir-anjaam deti rahengi 😉

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      • @Salma n @FA: Maybe ammi ji locked the rest of the house down .. after all who knows what kind of riff raff her na-samajh bahu is inviting to the house .. what if the guests took off with the qeemti bartan and her mehnge monogrammed towels! ;

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  2. Hey SZ , I agree , laila looked lovely at the dinner , a very awkward dinner I must say.
    Mansoor is very rude n insensitive.
    His mother too , always dissing laila .
    Laila s dad is a gem .
    Khurram is so annoying , he needs a reality check .

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    • @deeba: hey! Kidhar ghaib ho gayi? I thought I would hear from you on the Ahista Ahista thread .. dekha tha?

      LOL yeah awkward is the word .. uff I was stressed and i wasnt even invited! Mansoor miyan will get peeto-ed by me one of these days .. what a sample he is and apna Khurram tau is in a class all his own! Haan Laila’s dad is well meaning but I do wonder why he didnt speak up earlier when his wife was arranging the rishta … as the man of the house he mustve gone to meet the guy and check up on him.. no, what do you think?
      Yes! Laila was so fab.. but then us ko dekh ke laga ke wasnt Kuku cold in her sleeveless top?

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      • @SZ re lailas dad going to see Mansoor before rishta: i dont think one can judge anyone in or two meetings.. Asal rang shad ke baad hi pata lagta hai! I know so many ppl who were married into close family thinking apne hai, dekhe bhale log hain etc, but true colours only show once ppl start living together.. no?

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        • true, shadi se pehle everything is rosy n perfect,the reality sinks in once u start sharing a home and everyones true colours come out.

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  3. oh btw i thought this ep questioned home again.. we have seen and discussed lailas ordeal ke kehne ko ab laila ke do ghar hain but which one is her real home?….. but now coming back to the dhaba, why is mian mansoor running away from his palacial house to find peace in that dhaba? He is also restless… he obviously gets a kick after playing with his shikar, but whether he wipes kukus tears in his arms or she turns him down on the phone, he runs to that charasland lol.. kia uska ghar bhi us ko katne ko dorta hai??? its def not out of guilt or conscience, because we know mian mansoor uss se tou aari hain.. what is it then?

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    • @FA: Since I didnt get around to joining in last week’s convo. would love to continue discussing those thoughts as well… and since you mentioned it here’s the charsi song video .. had been meaning to post it earlier but khair .. chalo aaj hi sahi

      Re: the apna ghar .. interesting question you pose .. we’ve talked abt this so far exclusively in terms of a woman’s dilemma but here we see that even Mansoor seems to be be-ghar .. so then home is where the heart is and in that case Mansoor is just as homeless as Laila. Since he is not welcome where he wants to be and does not want to go where his wife is waiting tau phir to charsi dhaba hi reh gaya na .. waisey do you think the story will end with Mansoor dying of an overdose of low grade chars??

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      • @SZ hahahahaa ROFL@ Mansoor dying of overdose…well uss ka tou nahin pata but he is def missing out this crazy crack party! lol .. yahan bhi two ladies watching out for him lol…thanks for sharing.. that vid is crazy!!
        re be-ghar.. haan thats what i was thinking home is where the heart is.. but this guy is heartless!!! lol

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  4. Salaams SZ, I am simply watching Pechaan by watching the promos. I saw in the promo that Kuku is crying on Laila being pregnant – seriously? On one side she tells Mansoor that she can’t hurt Laila and that why did Mansoor have to marry Laila and at the same time, she is snuggling in his arms- disgusting. I applaud the whole team for creating wonderful dialogues but there’s no solid story.

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    • Waslaam Aisha, thanks for sharing your thoughts .. For me Pehchan is a one off in the way the writer and director have addressed some very difficult issues. That said, I have a few friends who, like you, are not in to Pehchan so I see where you’re coming from .. but khair hai ..life would be very boring if we all agreed upon the same things, no? 🙂

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      • No it’s fine, but I know I told you to watch Rung on Hum Sitarey and again sincerely recommend it to you. Please don’t watch Ahista Ahista as the story has nothing new to offer. I see Mata e Jaan in it covered with glam. Replace that with Rung on Hum Sitarey. I know the dramas that you like are filled with emotions and great dialogues and that’s what Rung offers. I know you won’t regret it and would love it that you would watch, enjoy and review Rung. The story follows a natural flow with natural characters.

        Also, Laa started yesterday on Hum. The first episode was more cheap than interesting but with Farooq Rind’s direction and a thrilling story by Sarmad Sehbai, I don’t think this is meant to be a miss.

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  5. Beautiful review SZ ji 🙂 …aur kia episode thi…Bee Gul nay itna natural likha hai her character itna real itna relatable hai k aap kabhi ye swal nahi kertay k ye kia ho raha hai? ye kis tra ho sakta hai? aisa kahan hota hai?…nahi bilkul bhi nahin…..bulk ye sub incidents humein apnay life experiences yaa observations kaa hisa lagtay hain in characters main say kuch hum khud hain tou kuch bilkul humaray aas paas mo-jood…is hud tak reality say close drama main nay bohut arsay k baad dekha hai..is k liay ek baar phir Team Pehchaan kaa shukria 🙂

    is baar review per ziada baat ho gi kiunk last time bilkul naa ho saki thi….first paragraph main uthaiy janay walay sawalaat kaa jawab mere liay tou “udaas naslein” ki oon lines main hi hai jo main nay share kin thin yaa phir humari wo discussion jo laila ki shadi k waqt expensive cheezon/ameer larhka etc ki mud main ki gai thi……laila ki mother aur MIL ek mind set ko represent ker rahi hain jin ki life ki terf ek materialistic approach hai ..obviously oon k liay khushi / naa-khushi aur success / failure isi ek cheez per depend kerti hai

    ab is kaa reason kia hai? 1-by nature kuch log aisay hotay hain (wo khud ko practical kehtay hain)…2-ye bhi pehlay discuss hoa hai…ye oon ki life experiences hain jo oon ki soch main jhalak rahay hain..laila ki MIL jin k baray main lagta hai k oon ki married life kaa start bhi kuch kuch laila jaisa hoa aur ab jo kuch hum laila k sath mansoor ko kertay dekh rahay hain ..kitnay din ye lerhki berdasht kray gi yaa tou tung aa ker wo separation /divorce ki terf jye gi yaa dosra raasta jis ko humari society ki 95% aurtein choose kerti hain wo hai COMPROMISE …lekin zinda bhi tou rehna hai aur KHUSH nazer ana hai?…phir yahan say oon illusions / half truth / half lies ..silken webs of deceit kaa aghaaz hota hai…

    kabhi ye admit nahi kren gi k humaray hubby yaa betay hi loose character hain bulk saray jahan ki lerhkiyaan hi oon masoom tareen merdon k peechay parhi hain ab is main kaa kia qasoor…ye wo khayal hai jo oon aurton ko satisfy krta hai tou aisay hi sahi..kia hoa ager adha such adha jhoot hai

    khushi ki wo soorat available nahi jo hum chahtay hain (hubby’s love/affection/attension etc) tou koi nai….bahir say aye qeemti bertun hain / perfect rishta /handsome husband aur khud ko busy rakhna hai tou chahay kabaab ki perfect shape ho yaa puranay sweater ko repair kerna yaa bird’s cage ki cleaning ..(kum ter asyshein /jhooti khushiyaan)…in aurton nay apni poori life isi tra ignore ho ho ker insult kerwa ker guzari hai aur in kaa status apnay gher main ek useless/ unwanted insaan kaa raha hai…aur is sub nay in ko senseless bana dia hai is liay hum kaisay expect ker saktay hain k wo ek young lerhki k oos dreams / desires kaa khayal kren gi jin ko khud barhi effort ker k peechay chorh ayn hain…bilkul victim aur victimizer kaa khel shuru ho gaya hai

    ye khel bhi kiun khaila jata hai?….revenge ek tra ki inner satisfaction k liay….yaa phir is kaa psychological pehloo hai k laila ki desires ko approve/acknowledge kernay kaa matlab hai oon ki life per ek question mark….kia wo apni pori life ek mirage k peechay guzaarti rahin…oon k decisions bilkul ghalat thay… is say jo sense of lose /regret paida ho gaa..oos ko kon face kray gaa naa oos kaa kuch madawa naa oos kaa kuch ilaaj…ok main topic say completely hut chuki hoon wapis anay ki koshish kerti hoon 🙂

    now willful ignorance …again wo hi baat hai k zinda jo rehna hai tou isi illusion /false hopes k saharay zinda rahein gay k sub thik ho jye gaa..isi liay haqeeqat kaa samna kerna hi nahi..chahay laakh laila koshish kray isi liay her baat ki ulti seedhi tojeeh dono aunties k paas her waqt mo-jood hoti hai…ager khud mansoor say bhi sawal kia jye oos ki adat k baray main..shayed wo itna behter aur jaldi jawab naa day sakay jitna in do ladies k paas hota hai

    ab jo mujhay nazer aa raha hai…ek baar laila k samnay reality aa jye gi phir kia ho gaa …obviously apni mom yaa MIL say oosay 1 percent bhi support nahi milay gi ..laila ki mom kaa itna extreme behavior show kernay say ye hi matlab nikalta hai..tou kia hoa hum nay bhi apni life main ye sub dekha hai jhela hai..merd tou aisay hi hotay hain lekin achi biwi kaa kaam hai wo gher banai…compromise kray etc

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    • @Rj: Re: willful ignorance, you are absolutely right.. both aunties have ready answers, and not ready to listen to Laila even for a sec… but let me play the devil’s advocate for a min and talk about the same situation from a diff perspective ….
      If we take another look at Laila’s mom, we see that she is only doing what she thinks is best for Laila .. like every good mother she is teaching her daughter to suck it up and deal with choti moti baatein and not coming running to mommy with every little shikayat .. and in that I agree with the mom’s tarbiyat .. how many times have we seen marriages breaking up because both families get involved in a couple’s tiff and spats .. DeS’ dad offers her the same advice and this helps her get through some very stressful times in her life ( here I am using this just as an illustration of how we generally think sensible parents should behave ) Ab, even as we are all blaming the mom, I was thinking last night ke woh ghalat tau nahin hai .. in her own way she is right…. but the issue here is that we know what Mansoor is up to .. and this info is not available to Laila’s parents, and in fact even Laila herself, though she has her suspicions, does not know the full extent of Mansoor’s kamini harkats … ab, if you take that info out of the equation then you are left with a regular typical arranged marriage where husbands and wives go through their entire lives together without having any real sense of what heir spouse desires and wants from them .. ab in this situation if we are getting mad at Laila’s mom for her willful ignorance then we must also brace ourselves for a dramatic increase in divorce rates …
      would love to read what everybody else thinks about this issue .

      Re: the questions in the review, these are not my questions ( only the last para has my question) I was highlighting the issues raised in this latest episode.. and yes as you said we’ve already talked about some of them, and i think this where your concern about repetition comes in as well. I am minded to agree with you but I do think that each episode adds another layer to our characters .. we see Laila getting gradually disillusioned ..Laila and Kuku getting closer … Kuku distancing herself from Mansoor and her inner struggles … I think by ep 10/11 Laila will find out .. 12/13 will be about her devastation and from 14/15 till the end (i think it is 20/22 eps) we will see Laila’s evolution ..and see Kuku come to term with her life as well and then take some hard decisions…

      Re: the elder women becoming “senseless” or desensitized to a young girl’s pain … I dont think it is as mechanical as that ..Laila’s mom is giving her “good” advice based on her life experience .. similarly her mom -in -law too is looking out for her as she earns her abt the girls falling for Mansoor … not barely enough but still a sense they want to help her .. ab the issue is ke Laila cannot come out and tell them about what goes on in the bedroom… in the first place nobody has ever told her about saying “NO”. This goes back to our earlier discussion abt the need for moms to talk to their daughters or arranging for an elder cousin etc to come talk to their unprepared bacchi before she enters into wedlock. Since not of that happened, Laila would not go confide about these issues to her mother or mil … and this is where the genius of Bee Gul’s writing lies ke she shows us things from every perspective and appreciate how different things look when seen through someone else’ eyes .. so yes there is a victim-victimizer cycle going on but its inadvertent not deliberate … and hence my question at the end of the review … why are we still following archaic traditions and obsolete societal dictates .. like shaadi ki sahih umar, the fear of kunawari reh jaayegi, shaadi being more important than parhai, … etc

      Ab .. baqi tom 🙂 Goodnight all!

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      • @SZ U raised a very interesting point and I’m with u on this one.
        Even we as mothers, raise our children like that. We try not to pay heed to every little quarrel, every shikayat.. trying not to encourage that behaviour so they could learn to let go of things and so in affect teaching them how to deal with ups and downs of life… teaching them life is not a bed of roses and there will times when there will be things they will have to ignore (i know I do that with my children).
        And now that u mention it, seeing that she doesnt know the extent of mansoor’s doings, from her perspective, thats exactly what laila’s mum is doing.. We can call it pushing her towards a ”compromise”, but dont we all compromise at different things all our lives?

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      • @SZ @RJ @FA: you all made interesring points… Regarding willful ignorance i dont think that will make things better..this will even make someone life a living hell.. Only to say k thora sabr karlo compromise karlo.. But in ke saath it’s actually v.necessary to give strength to fight under such circumstances.. Its ok to compromise but with a shoulder to lean on makes journey more easy.increase rate in divorce will happen no doubt agr sabr ka maada bilkul he nh hai…things need some time to mend..
        Gosh i dont know wht am. I saying.. Apologies if its senseless :/

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    • @RJ I can see where u r coming from, and im with u on life experiences and all, but i disagree with the revenge bit. Im not sure either of the women r doing this to Laila for revenge. No matter how much of an ostrich Lailas Mum is, being a mum she cant be on a revenge tip.. Whatever shes doing in her own soch, she must be doing it for laila’s good.. Abb wheteher its good for Laila or not, thats something else..

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  6. ok first part post ker dia hai is der k maray k kahin kal ki tra khud hi tab close naa ker doon yaa kuch aur blunder maar doon…second part thori der main 🙂

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  7. tou baat compromise tak pohunchi thi…yahan ye bhi proof hota hai k ek baar jub aap compromise kertay hain tou kertay hi chalay jatay hain….laila kaa first compromise education chorh ker apni mom k kehnay per shadi kerna tha..obviously wo ek young lerhki hai aur jantay hoay bhi k oos ki demand ghalat nahi lekin oos ki mom nay jo horrible picture paint ki thi oos k samnay…wo stand nahi lay saki aur naa hi itnay barhay decision kaa bojh wo akeli utha sakti thi kal ko kuch ghalat ho jye tou hum family ki terf dekhtay hain support k liay…aur zahir hai humaray parents aser andaaz hotay hain humari life huaray decisions per directly or indirectly

    lekin compromise kaa cycle chal parha hai..end kahan ho gaa ..pta nahi…jaisa main nay pehlay kaha ye ek generation say dosri generation tak transfer ho jata hai ek legacy ki tra..lo ab tum sambhalo…

    ab laila ki pregnancy…I am sure mansoor ko koi cheez bound nahi ker sakti..baby bhi nahi..ye baby bhi laila k paon ki zanjeer ban jye gaa…compromise kernay ki ek aur reason mil jye gi

    Lonely and abandoned …absolutely agree with u…bilkul is situation main oosay ek friend ki zaroorat hai bulk kisi ki bhi..ek listener jo sun sakay k wo kia kehna chahti hai (remember laila ki baat naa koi suntan hai aur sun lay tou jawab nahi deta yaa naseehut shuru ho jati hai)..

    ye kahan ki dosti hai k banay hain dost naa-seh
    koi chara saaz hota koi ghum gusaar hota

    tou kisi friend ki zaroorat hai jis say dil ki baat ki jaa sakay jo judgmental naa ho..jo laila ki mistakes pin point naa kerta rahay…naa hi aisa jo dunya main ishtihaar lagata phiray..akhir izzat / perda bhi tou rakhna hai …is main mujhay nahi lagta k laila ko kukoo ek mazboot aurat k roop main nzaer aye hai is liay wi oos ki terf attract hoi hai bulk wo oos ko ek loving caring aur sincere person k tor per nazer aye hai..(50 %discount / very pretty /hubby is lucky etc)…most importantly jo mujhay bohut relatable aur real laga k kukoo ek stranger hai oos k liay /family k liay.. tou isay banda jis say aap kaa direct link naa ho least nuqsaan pohunchaa sakta hai aap ko…ziada say ziada wo apnay circle main aap k liay baat kray gaa lekin oos ki kis ko perwaah hai

    aap dekhein salon main laila cover kernay ki koshish ker rahi thi lekin dinner per openly baat ker rahi thi about mansoor…tou ye bara difference hai…kiunk ab laila ek tra trust kernay lagi hai kukoo per yaa osay officially apni friend maan lia hai 🙂 ..bilkul lalia k liay kukoo aur kukoo k laila ki life perfect hai..ek aur reality k hum wo chahtay hain jo dosron k paas hota hai oos ki qader nahi kerat jo qudrat humein deti hai..dosri baat door say dekhnay per sub ki lives perfect nazer atin hain lekin ander kitna khokhla kitna khaali hai ye paas janay per yaa ander jhanknay per pta chalta hai

    Mrs khan kia waqai Chinese man ki baat ker rahi thin jis say ye show kia gaya k kukoo k hawaas per manssor kitna haavi hai yaa deliberately unhon nay baat badal di thi pta nahi…khurram nay aaj show kia kia k kis tra oos nay kukoo ka dil jeeta ho gaa dekhnay main kitna family oriented insaan lagta hai…caring /loving/respectful ek aurat aur kia chahay gi…mazay ki baat hai ye batein kukoo mansoor k liay keh rahi thi mrs khan k samnay

    mohabat kaa matlab khurram k liay hai paisa / asyshein..ye nahi pta k sacrifice kernay dosron ki khushyon ko importance dena hi mohabat hai..”jub meri deal final ho gi tub humara gher ho gaa bachay hon gay ” chalo kisi hud tak maan saktay hain tub tak kaam kerna kukoo ki majboori hai lekin baby?…is per wait kiun kerna ..phir kukoo ek aurat hai merd nahi jo 50 years main bhi jaa ker..well kia kahoon baby plan kernay bhi ek age hai khaas tor per aurat k liay…khurram ko ye samajhna chahiay..tumhara business 15 years tak set naa hoa tou kukoo wait kerti rahay..stupid

    kukoo is waqt tou laila ki khatir sub kuch ker rahi hai lekin jo struggle oos k ander hai oos ki unfulfilled desires plus oos ki emotional needs kitni der tak oos ko mansoor say door rakhein gi..kon jeetay gaa oos ki morality oos kaa zameer yaa oos k ander ki aurat..ye tou waqt btaiy gaa aur phir laila kaa kia reaction ho gaa..ye bhi baad main pta chalay gaa

    lekin ab mujhay lagta hai tempo thorha fast kren kiunk kai cheezein achay say establish ker chukay..oosi per baar baar scenes..jaiay laila ki mom aur MIL k scenes main ek hi baat hai..isi tra mansoor laila even khuram kukoo aur kukoo mansoor…tou ab strory next phase main enter honi chaiay..

    ok ab yahan khatum..phir comments k baad wapis ati hoon

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    • @RJ I dont think compromise is legacy to be passed on from generation to generation, but its a necessity.. We compromise at small things all the time without realizing..
      but on the flip side, for whatever reason, and with however much kameengi & dishonesty, isnt mansoor also compromising? He is also sticking it out in this loveless marriage? dekha jae tou thats also a compromise….no?
      re khurrams muhabbat: how could i forget that epic scene! honestly this guy doesnt have a clue! idk why but this reminded me of the ad waseem bhai aap thakte nahin hain? lol
      re story: i think there was lots of new stuff this week : getting all four at the table. lailas pregnancy and everyones reaction to the news, and laila befriending kuku, and lailas dad finally speaking up.. But yes i agree pace could be picked up…

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  8. Hi SZ it is really a treat to read your review. When I read your review it broaden my way of thinking about everything and you go so deep , you amaze me .the cage , shawl I was thing About so many hidden meaning , Laila is getting confuse about Mansoor attitude and she cannot figured it out and that is why she is looking for someone to talk to . The conversation bet Kuku and Laila is interesting. I wonder what will Laila do when she find out mansoor’s adultery and infidelity? Laila should at least talk to her father like DES. Her father is only sensible person who understand her. Soheil sameer has nailed the character. offat omar , Alishba soheil sameer are fab. Mrs khan conversation has a deep meaning . I loved this drama and learning lot about man and women . And specially the man are that bad that they can do adultery and infidelity and still walk in society as if nothing is wrong with them. Everything about this drama is wonderful .

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    • @Ranjan: Hey! Missed you last week .. hope all was well with you 🙂

      Thanks! Glad you enjoyed the review … re the deeper meanings, these are just my interpretations, if you or other readers have other thoughts abt the various scenes please do feel free to share.. it is always great to hear diff viewpoints 🙂

      Re: Laila’s response to Mansoor’s infidelity, she suspects there is something off.. but doesnt know the extent of her husband’s cheating ways .. but more than that I think the fact that Mansoor as involved with Kuku will be a greater shock .. because at this point she has begun to trust Kuku and likes her .. so that betrayal will hurt more than Mansoor’s .. they fact that Mansoor and Kuku have barely met a couple of times after her marriage and they were no longer lovers wont matter much to Laila and neither will Kuku’s explanations .. ab lets see how it all plays out ..

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    • @Ranjan re Laila should talk to her father: I think she knows he can’t do much. She remembered him / we saw the flashback. It might’ve been comforting but at the same time she realized he could never really do anything to stop the wedding either. What could he do now..? thats what i think.. would love to hear other pov on this..
      Re DeS father: i think there we had a role reversal. DeS’s mum was more like lailas dad in terms of voicing her concerns, whereas dad was more practical.

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      • @FA at least her father would try to help figure out what is going on with Mansoor . And then how to approach the problem I guess.regarding marriage Laila didn’t discussed that she do not want to get marry, I remember with her mother she was telling that she wants study.

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  9. Lovely review. I am so glad you are enjoying this and understand the intricacies of the characters and their relationships. Most Desi viewers unfortunately have a very narrow outlook towards life and relationships. We are also pretty bipolar and think only in extremes. So I am not surprised that ppl aren’t able to appreciate this masterpiece. Iffat was having an extra marital affairso why isnt she the epitome of evil?and why does she appear so normal? Why no loud makeup and snooty attitude? Bee gul has thoroughly confused desi sensibilities. The most common Comment Ive seen on Feb is , is this Pakistan? Is this our culture? Cracks me up every time I read it

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  10. I have read the review and the comments and as always, I have come away with layers that remained hidden to me. So, I’ll only write of a few possibilities that I think are different.

    Thinking of the mazboot and mazloom dichotomy referred to in the first review, I can’t help but think that Cuckoo’s strength is a facade to cover her loneliness. I have noticed that she has no friends or family to speak of. If so, this would be part of the reason why she fell for both Khurram and Mansoor.

    Mansoor seems to be lonely too, but I think it is because he knows how repulsive his true self would be to most people. After all, I don’t think there’s any meeting of Sadists Anonymous that he can go to.

    I may be proven wrong by the coming episodes, but I don’t think Laila’s mother is being influenced by her marital life. Rather she might be reacting to what she has heard and seen over the years in others’ lives. Laila’s father seems to be too close to his daugher’s whims and fears to have been a philanderer in days past.

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